It was the summer of 2011 where everyone called him by his actual name, and it didn’t occur to
him to mind. He couldn’t wait to go to University, having missed the hike in tuition fees, and he
thought he would never find a woman as great as his mother. That was the summer him and I went to
Shoreditch to go to The Ten Bells.
That was the first time he wore the jacket.
It was a mostly ordinary black leather jacket, except the zips were too shiny, so I christened
him Shiny Zips. I sat down giving him a drink and said ‘here you go Shiny Zips’ to which he
barked ‘don’t call me that, I hate that name, you make me sound like some kind of fool! Stop it!’
I apologised mumbling ‘I think the nickname suits you.’ Shiny Zips then began to curse and waggle his finger uncontrollably, though as he did, the zips shook and with the shake they reflected the neon light. Mind, it was faint, though it was there.
Two women then came to sit with us, Shiny Zips and I disagree here, him saying it was our good
looks, me saying the slight shine from the zips bought them here. I introduced myself and just as I was
about to introduce him he stopped me saying ‘and I’m shiny zips.’ They had begun asking all sorts of
questions to which Shiny Zips answered animatedly.
He was on fire, he was on form, and then he asked if anyone wanted drinks, to which we all agreed.
He came back with 4 Tequilas and striking a pose that made someone ovulate asked ‘how about you
two try a body shot.’ There was a short silence then they agreed giggling, then we heard a ‘but we
want you to do a body shot off him first.’
Shiny Zips and I looked at each other in shock though with promise of a girl on girl body shot we
capitulated and decided that Shiny Zips will lift up his top have salt in his bellybutton, the shot
wedged in his jeans and the lemon in his mouth.
I got on my knees.
He squirmed so I grabbed his hips to steady him. I moved slowly towards his bellybutton as the girls giggled. I stuck my tongue out and licked the salt out of the bellybutton. I smelt his crotch and tasted bellybutton and fluff. I cringed but moved down to drink the shot. I couldn’t lift the glass out so the women demanded I use my tongue. I stuck my tongue deep into the shot glass. I tasted tequila but pushed the glass into Shiny Zips pants. He jolted and his knee hit me in the jaw. The lemon in his mouth through the shock fell into my hair, and it appeared had been chewed slightly so lemon juice ran into my hair. We looked up at the women like kittens, expecting them to reciprocate. They laughed and walked out.
