I started writing these articles back in June, and looking back it occurs to me that I need to be less of a miserable bastard. I’m a 24-year-old living in the social centre of London, nay, the UK, here in Shoreditch. I need to be making the most of it, not looking to nitpick it! I need to get out of my head and live in the moment.
So this week, I grabbed an opportunity and got a free ticket to a comedy show. There was only one, and usually this would make me pause for thought, but not this time! The new me wasn’t going to let an opportunity pass me by.
Frankly once I’d arrived it occurred to me how silly I’d been worrying about sitting next to two strangers. Big deal, everyone was there to watch the show, not me. The old me would have thought there was nothing worse than sitting next to two strangers. That is completely ridiculous.
Of course there’s something worse. Sitting next to one complete stranger with an empty seat on the other side making me look like I’d been stood up.
No! I’m not getting in to that. Optimism!
I look around the theatre to take my mind off it, and spot the binoculars for hire. The old me would worry that they’re officially “opera glasses” or that this maybe opera is overly ambitious when you’re in a theatre which normally hosts The Bodyguard, but I’ve grown as a person. Still, somewhere at the back of my brain I have to wonder – at £1 a time, how often do people actually rent these? Surely they aren’t exactly a money spinner for the theatre?
No, I’m putting too much thought into it. Be in the moment, live in the now, a third generic phrases which should accompany a motivational Facebook update.
The show starts off great – I’m really enjoying the comedy and laughing along. Until a magical act come in to the audience to pick someone to help with a trick. Suddenly my heart leaps somewhere around my throat, and my anus around navel. Enjoy that mental image.
Then it occurs to me I’m sat far enough back that they’re unlikely to pick me. Short of them being Olympic-level hurdlers I doubt they’ll make it to my row. This allows me to settle back in to my new life of enjoying everything.
I get to the halfway point and am having a fantastic time. I’m not quite comfortable enough to start drinking on my own so I just sit and watch the crowd mill around. This feels a little weird after a while, so back to my phone it is.
I do think that I should probably use the toilet. But then I realise the crowd will be massive and someone will make the same joke you always hear – “there’s a queue? God, I thought this was the gents, not the ladies”. Probably me if no one else does. Then I notice that the sign for the toilet nearest reads “Ladies WC’s” I can tell that’s not right, and I’m not even a grammar obsessive. Any more.
OK, well since that won’t be happening, maybe I could get some ice cream. Except £5 for a tiny ice cream seems a bit steep. And it has no nutritional value. Plus I’ll be sat on my own eating ice cream which is basically a sitcom trope that I should aim to avoid at this stage.
Once the show has finished I head off for home. And the truth is I’m feeling pretty terrific. My new leaf has been thoroughly turned over, and a sense of optimism means that, for the first time in years, I feel the world is a source of endless possibilities!
Just one problem: what the hell am I going to write about this week?