The new rules of dating for men

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Dating – it can be tough out there, can’t it? Particularly so, it seems, for men, who are often the ones expected to lead when it comes to romance. The rules of dating are always changing, they’re telling us. But what are the rules? And who is ‘they’ anyway? Worry no longer: for all men currently experiencing the highs and lows of the dating world, read on for a few pointers…

Offering to pay

Some things don’t change. According to this article in Men’s Health, not offering to take care of the restaurant bill or failing to cover the first few drinks in a bar is a big mistake. It won’t be forever – two or three dates down the line if the lady hasn’t offered to get her purse out, alarm bells should start discretely sounding – but making and then sticking to the gesture of paying creates the right impression.

Have a plan

Definitely have a plan, men. As this great piece in the Telegraph says: “please do not arrange to meet us at the Tube station and then say, ‘so where do you fancy going?’ This question fills us with dread. We spent three hours getting ready for this thing. We’ve done our bit. We just want to be taken somewhere nice, please’. Don’t wing it on the date itself; know what you’re doing and where you need to go.

Make the first move

The recent new book The New Rules states that women shouldn’t make the first move or initiate first contact – which means the man has to. Of course, fellas – you can still sit and wait, in the hope that someone who takes your eye will also take the plunge but by the time that happens they may have moved on elsewhere. No: better to take charge, be bold and ask for a date. This applies whether asking in person or through an online dating website.

Lose the phone

Hey, we all have smartphones now and these little objects have a huge place in our lives. But keep yours to one side during the date – you can manage that, right? There’s nothing more off-putting while having a break-the-ice chat over coffee or lunch than to see the person on the other side of the table checking their Facebook status or playing Championship Manager. Give it a rest for two hours and given your date all your attention.

Ask questions – and listen to the answers

Talk about yourself, by all means, but not just about yourself. A man’s got to ask about what his female companion does, what she likes, and so on – and stay engaged when she starts opening up; don’t just walk through a checklist of stuff to ask and glaze over when she answers. It’s a conversation, not a going through the motions exercise!