Outside Shoreditch: San Francisco's Best Dive Bars

I know what you’re thinking: isn’t San Francisco just one giant Shoreditch? It’s tech, it’s hipster, it’s where you want to be on a Saturday night. And at only 7 miles x 7 miles square, it doesn’t seem much bigger. Yet for all that, you pick your crowd and you pick your scene. I once ran with a group of hot young architects who specialised in dark and dodgy Chinese bars. But you also have the beer crowd (often found at Toronado on Haight, City Beer in SoMa, or Zeitgeist if they’re also cyclists). You’ve got the cocktail crowd (and within those, the sub-categories of speak-easy, molecular, or classic fans), the cigar bar crowd, the wine bar crowd, and on and on it goes.

When I lived in San Francisco before moving to London, I liked ’em all. My nights out depended on my company. Work friends? If it was co-ed, we could be found at the classy Alembic on Haight Street. Strictly girlfriends? Wine bars or cocktail, and a matter of debate as to which one: a tiny dark one down a secret alley if you wanted a good gossip and catch-up, a downtown one if you’re in the mood for a flirt, the newest hottest one in the Mission if you’re planning on yelping, foursquaring, and tweeting your night.

But out with your best friends? You do it divey. Here are three of the best places to keep it real in San Francisco:

1. Toronado
547 Haight Street @ Fillmore,USA www.toronado.com
Toronado is one of my favorite places for a beer in San Francisco. It’s dark, it’s grungy, and it unapologetically reeks of alcoholism. Everything is delightfully sticky–the floor, the tables, the men–and the beer selection is phenomenal. The grizzly bartenders know everything there is to know about beer and have the too cool appearance of aging rockstars. They’re also effing charming when they have the time to be (which they usually don’t because this place stays busy). With over a gazillion taps rotating regularly, there’s something for everyone. Except for wine drinkers.

Insider’s tip: For food, go to Rosemunde next door, order a sausage,go back to Toronado for a pint while you wait, then return to Rosemunde to pick it up. Bring it back to Toronado to eat with your next round! Rosemunde will busk the baskets back.

2. Tunnel Top
601 Bush Street @ Stockton
Technically classified as a ‘lounge,’ Tunnel Top is only as classy as their chandelier made out of bottles and the dark red lighting that ensures that whoever you’re talking to IS the most attractive person in the room. Easy to miss, Tunnel Top can be found at the top of the tunnel (hence the name) near Union Square. The space is small (though there’s a great little upstairs balcony) and their sign outside is broken (leading to a very ‘condemned space’ impression). It’s impossible not to have fun.

Insider’s tip: go for their excellent happy hour and stay all night. It gets rammed, especially when the deejays are rocking.

3. Mr. Bing’s
201 Columbus Avenue @ Pacific, www.mrbings.com
Located on the edge of Chinatown, you can’t get more divey than Mr. Bing’s. The drinks are cheap, liar’s dice is on the roll, and there’s a jukebox so the customers can pick the tunes. A pool table, a Ms. Pac-Man, and a V-shaped bar complete the completely unatmospheric atmosphere. There’s no beer on tap, the drinks are straight-forward, and you feel like you’ve stepped out of time and place when you enter this diviest of dive bars.

Insider’s Tip: Lower the bar. No, lower.