Who likes to play Chat Roulette?
No telling porkies now, everyone had had a dabble on chat roulette at some point in their lives.
It’s a marvellous invention I always thought, even though I have yet to see any real point to it other than given online sex pests a bigger scope to wank at (all be it via webcam ) the general public.
The concept is very simple, you log on and on comes your web cam with your face in one screen, in the opposite screen is the face of which ever lucky individual you have been paired with.
You have the option to skip, if they are mega ugly or you can stay and communicate with them.
Face to face just like Skype or FaceTime.
It probably took most people about 4 seconds to realise that they could in theory do whatever the fuck they wanted to as the screens flicked onto the next person, whats the worst that could happen? The person pressed next.. BIG FUCKING DEAL another berk is seconds behind.
So given such freedom, what do most people do?
Pull their cocks out of course.
Girls, not so much as they don’t have a cock, unless they are a special girl.
But the boys all want to stare you out with one eyes willy.
I have partaken in chat roulette many a time, generally highly fucking mash up with a group of equally as crunk people, tormenting American’s or trying to get some mall’ed sex pest to get proper freaky,.
Have we succeeded I hear you holler?
Yes we fucking have.
Example A) Old man wanks into a mug and proceeds to down it after we all chant for at least 5 seconds (didn’t take much persuading)
Example B) the Old man (see the pattern yet) introduces a can of SODA (Yeah,,, American) into the situation. What’s he doing here then, Oh… yeah he’s putting it there.
I met he has no issues with constipation he’s a fucking loose as a goose. Is that a saying?
Example C) Old man tells us to tell him to put stuff in my poo Shute, of course we do but possible were being far to expectant asking him to hide the chair leg up there. He did however get a potato masher and a spatula up there.
So you see where I’m going with this. It’s a tool people use to flash at other bastards without having to purchase a decent Mac and a hide in a bush next to a play ground all day.
Now to be fair once you have seen one guy furiously drag himself around a room by his own helmet you have pretty much seen them all, it all gets just a bit too embarrassing.
My last experience of chat roulette however has fully rekindled my love for the tripe.
Taking a whole new approach to tormenting online cretins, I laughed so hard I still cry at the memories.
It turns out all you actually need to have the time of your life is a horse’s head.
Exhibit A.
Combine the horses head with some William Morris wallpaper and you have the setting for some very ultra jokes head fuckery.
Exhibit B.
What most old men are not expecting when they aim there ugly little helmet at the camera as they wait with excitement at the prospect that someone will FINALLY look at their deflated scrotum, is a horse headed man with a cake knife performing a highly vigorous improvisation of the river dance.
The moment is priceless.
Fastest way to kill a lob on I have ever seen.
This is all pointless information I am aware, but it’s useful for the next time you are watching an old man bum himself into next week with a can of ginger ale, this is not the end, there is more to life than this.
Whip out your horse mask, have your have yourself an Irish jig.
