There’s a vast difference between appearing to be a good person and truly being one.
The difference lies in habits. ‘Pretend-good’ people make a show of kindness, masking their true nature.
Naturally kind people, however, have behaviors that allow their good nature to shine. Their actions speak louder than words and they inspire others by their example. It’s not about having an agenda, but about genuinely caring for those around them.
Being a good person is more than just an art, it’s a way of life. In this piece, we will explore nine simple habits that set naturally kind people apart.
By incorporating these into your own life, you’re not pretending, but truly becoming a better person every day. Because at the end of the day, kindness shines from within.
1) Practicing empathy
Understanding and sharing someone else’s feelings is at the heart of being a genuinely kind person.
Empathy isn’t about making grand gestures of compassion. It’s the quiet act of putting yourself in another person’s shoes. It’s feeling their joy, their pain, and everything in between.
Think about it. It’s the driving force behind those who are always there to lend a listening ear or a comforting shoulder.
When confronted with someone’s challenges or pain, empathetic people don’t shy away. Instead, they share in the experience, providing comfort, understanding, and – when they can – solutions.
So, if you seek to become a truly kind person, start by practicing empathy. It isn’t about solving every problem; it’s about making others feel seen, heard, and valued.
But remember, just like any other habit, empathy requires consistent practice. You have to be sincere, and let it come naturally to you. Authentic empathy never stems from a manipulative place.
2) Offering help when it’s needed
A personal example encapsulates this perfectly. I once had a neighbor who was a single mother of three children. She was always running around, trying to balance her job with taking care of her house and kids.
Once, I noticed she was struggling to load her groceries into her car while also managing her little ones. Instead of simply watching, I offered her a helping hand.
It was a small gesture, but her sigh of relief was priceless. From then on, I made it a point to help her whenever I could – be it taking out her trash, babysitting, or even just being a listening ear after a particularly hard day.
And you know what? These seemingly small actions didn’t take much effort on my part, yet they made a significant difference to her.
Being a genuinely kind person is often about these small but meaningful actions. Offering help, not because it benefits you in any way, but because it lightens the burden for someone else. Being there for others in times of need isn’t just a single act of kindness – it’s a lifestyle that, when adopted, can truly make you a better person.
3) Expressing gratitude openly
Being a naturally kind person goes beyond how you treat others. It’s also about how you react to kindness and good deeds directed at you.
Believe it or not, scientists have discovered that expressing gratitude can actually make you happier. Research published in the Journal of Happiness Studies shows a strong link between gratitude and an individual’s well-being, suggesting that taking time to thank others can make you feel better too.
When someone does something nice for you, acknowledging it and expressing your appreciation is not only polite, but it can also improve your mood and make you more positive. Kind people understand this, and they don’t shy away from saying ‘thank you’.
So, if you want to cultivate the habit of being kind, start by saying ‘thank you’ more often. It’s a small phrase, but it carries a lot of weight. It lets the other person know that their kindness hasn’t gone unnoticed and that you genuinely value their effort.
4) Listening actively
Have you ever been in a conversation where it seemed like the other person was just waiting for their turn to speak, rather than genuinely listening to what you were saying? It hardly promotes a sense of kindness or connection.
On the contrary, naturally kind people excel in the art of active listening. They give their undivided attention and make you feel like you’re the most important person in the room. They don’t rush you, they don’t interrupt, and they don’t try to impose their own views. They listen and validate your feelings.
Active listening requires presence. It means silencing your own thoughts and truly focusing on the other person. It’s a sign of respect, a demonstration of interest and, yes, a habit of genuinely kind people.
So, the next time you’re in a conversation, try to really listen. Not just to respond, but to understand. It’s a kindness that often goes unnoticed, but can make all the difference to the person you’re conversing with.
5) Being reliable
Consistency and reliability are paramount when it comes to being a fundamentally good person. You can’t just be compassionate, generous, and thoughtful one day, and then not show up the next. Kindness is not an on-off switch.
The actions of naturally kind people speak volumes about their character. They’re the friends who you can call at 3 am because you know they’ll pick up. They’re the colleagues who always deliver on their promises. They’re the people who, rain or shine, will be there when you need them.
Being reliable means making the conscious choice to be a rock for others – a person who is steady, trustworthy, and dependable.
Cultivate this habit by making sure to follow through on your promises. Punctuality, keeping your word, and showing up, even when it’s not convenient – these are the signs of a truly reliable, consistently kind individual.
6) Displaying genuine kindness to oneself
There’s an age-old adage that says, “You can’t pour from an empty cup”. Kindness, in its truest form, begins with how we treat ourselves.
If we’re constantly critical and unkind to ourselves, it can be challenging to display consistent kindness to others. Genuine kindness flows from within, and learning to be kind to yourself, in both thought and action, is the first step to embodying this quality.
This involves taking care of your physical well-being, monitoring your self-talk, and practicing self-love. After all, how can we give to others what we refuse to give to ourselves?
Being a truly good person is as much about how we treat ourselves as it is about how we treat others. So, if you want to cultivate the habit of being kind, start by looking inward. Nurture your own spirit with love, kindness, and forgiveness, and you’ll find it that much easier to extend this to others.
7) Noticing and reaching out to those who seem to be struggling
I didn’t always understand the depth of this concept. It took an encounter with a quiet classmate in high school to really change my perspective.
She often sat alone, a look of sadness frequently in her eyes. It would’ve been easy, too easy, to dismiss her quiet demeanor as part of her nature and continue on with my life. But one day, I decided to reach out to her. I took that simple step to sit next to her during lunch.
We started talking and quickly became friends. I learned that she was dealing with a difficult home situation and was quietly shouldering her pain. She later told me that my small act of reaching out during such a difficult time made her feel seen and less alone. It was then that I realized how a tiny act of noticing and reaching out could have a profound impact.
Compassionate people have a habit of noticing those who seem like they might be struggling and reaching out in whatever way they can. It’s not about changing someone’s life overnight — it’s about letting them know they’re not alone.
8) Respecting boundaries
Naturally kind individuals understand and respect the concept of personal boundaries.
They know that every person has their own limits and comfort zones. Whether it’s physical space, emotional boundaries, time commitments, or personal beliefs, kind people respect the boundaries set by others. They don’t push or overstep, even with good intentions.
More importantly, respecting boundaries also means speaking out when your own boundaries are being pushed or ignored. Kindness does not equal passivity.
To master the art of being a good person, you must learn to respect others’ boundaries and assertively communicate your own. It’s about creating a healthy balance in relationships and ensuring everyone feels valued and respected.
9) Practicing unconditional love and acceptance
At the core of all these habits is the practice of unconditional love and acceptance. Without judgement or agenda, naturally kind people extend their love and kindness to all people, regardless of their background, behaviors, or circumstances.
They have a depth of understanding and empathy that allows them to see beyond people’s surface into their essential humanity. It’s not about condoning or agreeing with everything everyone does – it’s about accepting them as they are.
Unconditional love and acceptance allow us to foster deeper connections and create meaningful relationships. They transform us into people capable of demonstrating true kindness and ultimately make us better humans. It’s this practice that defines and distinguishes genuinely kind people.
If you wish to embody the art of being a good person, this should serve as your compass – a guide that helps you navigate through this journey. Foster an attitude of unconditional love and acceptance. Let it infuse your thoughts, influence your actions, and guide your interactions with the world around you.